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Thread: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

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    Ex crewmember quagmire's Avatar
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    Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    I'll say this first - this is a thread in which most of you will probably not enjoy looking at the pictures. Now that you've been warned, let me explain.

    Porn and erotic pictures, in my opinion, should arouse you and help you to fantasize when you look at them. While looking for good pictures, I find an astonishing amount of stuff out there that really turns me off or practically makes me sick to my stomach. I thought maybe it would be interesting to list out those things in this thread, so I've gathered a few pictures which should be good samples of my little pet peeves of porn. I may continue to post things here (or you may if you like), if for no other reason than to vent a little frustration, but I thought this would make for an interesting experiment....

    So, in no particular order, here they are.
    Babes with Snakes

    Yes, I understand the symbolism, but I find it disgusting. I know snakes are not slimy and whatnot, but I just never found these pictures and poses erotic or thrilling in any way. It mostly sickens me and in my mind it borders on bestiality. I really don't like naked women with ANY animals around, but particularly snakes.


    Next, it's a combination of things that I don't care for - razor burn, stretch marks, and bad boob job scars. Notice in the before and after shots below how I made one image infinitely more enjoyable with a GIMP healing brush and 3 minutes of time.

    BEFORE


    AFTER



    Babes with Severe Puffies

    These are just.... well, I don't know what to tell you. What makes you decide to pose for pornographic pictures with a set like this? I know it takes all kinds to make the world go round, but these things look like they got caught for a week in the vacuum cleaner hose attachment.


    Bad Cosplay
    BAD

    With all the freaks that come out of the woodwork for sci-fi and comics conventions, you're bound to see some of these on the net if you spend any time looking for costumed babes. These are more comical to me, really. I don't even know if that second one is a guy or a girl. But when you're looking through the hundreds of horrible convention pics, you're bound to come across a few good ones, like below:
    GOOD



    Pockmarks or ingrown hair or clogged pores or whatever the hell it is around some women's breasts

    This seems to occur more on darker-skinned women. It's like parts of the areolae migrated out of the nipple area into the surrounding breast, and it makes me want to vomit just a little bit.

    Nice Tits on Butterfaced Women

    Just one small sample of a large group of images on the web that depict splendid looking breasts attached to two-bagger faces. I am in favor of community-sponsored plastic surgery for these women to help align their head-to-bodily-appeal ratio.


    MIDGETS

    Boy oh boy oh boy. This is one that creeps me out. I know they can't help their size, and they want to be treated like everyone else and blah blah blah blah oh my fucking god that one on the left in the second picture is just plain disturbing, with that crooked sneer and bad hair and a tattoo. <shiver> I think any minute now she's going to rip off the skin and reveal a little demonoid monster.


    Speaking of... TATTOOS

    Ok, this is one of those things that I know I've harped on before. Some of you agree, some of you disagree, some of you don't care. But frankly, I don't like to look at tattoos on women when I'm trying to feel, you know, aroused. Tattoos draw the eye away from the person, away from the photography, away from the everything that makes nudity enjoyable for me. Some women have small ones in out of the way places, and that's not so horrible, but others just don't know when to say when. And the one above is a great example. "LESS IS MORE" -- looks like someone is making a very ironic statement with that....


    Nipples that are closer to the girl's clavicle than their seventh rib

    While not the only one out there by any means, Francine Dee is a prime example of this. A truly hot woman, yes, but those breasts are just not right. She needs a nipple relocation. This is what happens when someone with very small breasts gets the largest implants they can, and it just makes me shake my head when I see it.


    Lopsided Nipples

    Again, the result of bad boob jobs. Sometimes it's just the angle of the picture, or the way the model's arms are situated, but other times it's obviously a case of new boobs not quite what they were shooting for in the "after" column. Yuck.


    Things I Wish I Could Un-See
    Sometimes, you happen upon a picture by accident, like being rick-rolled or something and you just want to squirt bleach in your eyes with a hypodermic needle. You want to un-see the image, get it out of your brain but it's too late - you saw it and now you can't get it out of your head. It's awful to think how many things like this I have had the misfortune of seeing.

    And now, so have you.



    More to come, I'm sure, as I get around to enumerating some other things that annoy me while in fantasy mode.

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    Post Addict limpdicknot's Avatar
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    Re: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    Great POST i never thought of that but you have put it well

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    Re: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    awesome post. alice goodwiin had pictures that were untouched and it threw me off. stretch marks and so tanned

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    Ex crewmember quagmire's Avatar
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    Re: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    Noticed a new pet peeve today - boobs with double chins, compliments of not such perfect plastic surgery, or possibly just overstuffing the breasts with saline. Observe:

    50c0b743c9453.jpg

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    Re: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    It's too bad that an otherwise good-looking babe like Audrey Bitoni had such an incompetent botched job done on her boobs. At some angles and lighting, they look truly bizarre. I don't collect her post-op photos, except for a few examples for comparison purposes, because they're just too painful to look at.

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    Re: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    Thought provoking thread - thanks.

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    Re: Porn Pet Peeves (warning:images inside not intended to arouse)

    Great thread,
    While agree with most of your points, I must take exception with #9 "Nipples that are closer to the girl's clavicle than their seventh rib",. That was the feature that first drew me to Francine, and I seek out other models with the same nipple position. I find it highly erotic.
    Diferent strokes for different folks, I guess.

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